Saturday, December 19, 2015

2015 Year In Review

Another year in the books...and what a pretty good year it's been for my little family. 

The positives

Autumn became officially potty trained and has maintained being potty trained in all areas as long as she goes before bedtime. That was one of the biggest hurdles, but as with everything Autumn, once she was ready, she was ready. 

Autumn also started preschool full-day this year. It's been quite the adjustment, but so far she's doing pretty well. She enjoys the routine and structure that school provides and she loves her classmates who have already become life-long friends. 

In addition to the above, Autumn also learned how to swim. She attended swimming lessons from March to November as well as swam in our pool over summer. She LOVES the water. Watching her during her swimming practices became a favorite past-time of mine that even though we put her swimming lessons on hold for winter, a huge part of me wants her to attend them again because she loves swimming so much. 

There were also other little moments throughout the year that brightened this mother's day: 

Reading to her class on her birthday and Autumn being extremely excited and welcoming to my visit. Hearing her tell her daddy that she loves him for the first time and meaning it. Seeing her embrace her grandparents and other relatives without it being forced. The joy and laughter on her face while playing with her cousins. Trick or treating on Halloween. The most special moment for me: her little smiling face looking out the window on her bus ride home, waving and saying "mama". 

2015 wasn't a year filled with any major anniversary milestones, big birthdays or festive celebrations, and vacations. It also had some rough moments as well. 

Autumn having a few ear infections and administering her meds became commonplace. She also probably had the croup as her momma also ended up with laryngitis, which is the adult form of it! A month later, and my voice is finally getting back to normal. 

Aside from the sickness that circulated our household throughout the fall months, we also started to see a different side of Autumn. Her rigidness and need for routines and structure has become worse to the point that she will go into a full-fledge meltdown if things aren't precisely where she wants them to be. Her scripting and perseverating has also increased. Her aggression as well. Then there's the bus situation that has all of our heads spinning as Autumn loved riding the bus until one day that changed and we don't know why. 

Even though Autumn's overall communication has become better with time, her OCD-like behaviors, including her sensory issues and screaming meltdowns, have become worse. Of course I wonder if I should take her back to her private OT too in order to help break some of these new sensory concerns she's been experiencing (even implementing the appropriate sensory tools at home for this seeker isn't always enough). 

However, her weighted blanket has been a godsend for nighttime and bedtime routines. A follower on my blogpage suggested laminating pictures and providing a picture book for the bus ride to/from school to help with the bus when she returns next week so that's what I've been working on (I even bought a laminator machine to help). I've even come to the conclusion that I may have to take her to school daily again if that helps some with breaking up her bus ride. Whatever it takes to get her over this hump, I'll be willing to try! 

Overall, 2015 was a good year for me personally. The goals I set forth in regards to implementing a healthier lifestyle were achieved. I was able to loose approximately 25 pounds and maintain my weight loss. In addition to, I was able to jog/run several 5k without stopping, but realized along the way that running is hard on my knees so I prefer to jog and do interval trainings instead. I also reconnected with my love for swimming and enjoyed much time swimming over summer alone and with Autumn. 

I've been able to maintain working part-time as a therapist for early intervention while also being a SAHM/housewife when I'm not seeing my families. Finding a balance in all of the above has been the biggest challenge to date. It's exhausting some days, but I'm managing! 

Thus, for 2016, I plan on focusing more time on bettering myself in order to continue being the best mom Autumn needs. I hope to spend more time off-line and with my family and friends. I also want to get back into working within the mental health profession, even if it's just one day a week, because I miss being a counselor and want my professional license someday too! Still, despite some of my feelings I've been having regarding EI and trying to be more separate, I know that my families need me and appreciate my journey. They learn from me and I learn from them. It's a team effort for sure. Therefore, in 2016, I will learn to put the "autism mom" cloak aside at times when necessary and to also step out of my shell, even if the outcomes may be downright frightening. I need to do this for Autumn. I am learning that despite her autism and some of the troubling behaviors she's been experiencing, I can't continue to segregate ourselves from the rest of the world. 

Thus, we will be going out more, do more family fun things, going on a few vacations- one, which will be to visit family out in IL for Easter and despite this being the most scariest thing we've (my husband and me) done with Autumn, we have to do this for her. 

I'm sure in 2016 I'll have my moments, my ups and downs in regards to life, but I have a feeling this will be another good year for the most part and like everything else in life, I'll be taking things one day at a time while cherishing the present. 

So here's to another year filled with good health, hope and happiness, less drama and sadness, minimal anger, but more love, strength, courage and faith. May we all find a bit more solace in 2016. 

XOXO,

Trish 

(Our only good family picture taken in 2015 by our lovely neighbors-Me thinking 2016 a family photoshoot is in store!)









 

Saturday, November 21, 2015

My Favorite Things: Top Educational and Therapeutic Tools For Early Childhood Development

As an early intervention therapist/behavioral specialist who primarily works with young children and as a mother to a young autistic daughter, I am always looking for the best learning tools to utilize during my therapy sessions as well as at home. 

The below is a very detailed list of my all-time favorite things (with pics and my personal descriptions) that I use during my therapy sessions and at home with Autumn. Lots of overlapping between developmental, PT, OT and Speech here. 30 items to be exact with some honorable mentions. Just too much to narrow down to a smaller number. 

As always, supervision is highly suggested and required for pretty much all of the items mentioned below (use common sense as well). 

In addition, please feel free to share this information with your family relatives and friends this holiday season who may be asking you what to get for your little butterfly. Most of the items mentioned are for younger children, but I'm sure older kids can use them as well! 

 Lastly, the tools/toys/items mentioned below are my personal favorites, this doesn't mean that you or your little will enjoy them or that you have to go out and buy and use them how I do. My descriptions and opinions of each item listed are derived from my personal opinions and from my experiences. Thus, just because it worked for my child or some of my work kids, doesn't mean it will work for yours. Parents, remember you are the expert on your child and know what he/she will like. 

Any questions or concerns regarding any of the below "favorites" should be followed up with your child's teachers/therapist team for recommendations/second opinions as well (weighted blanket, chewy tubes for example). I am not an expert on these items mentioned nor am I claiming to be one either. 

 
In no particular order, here's the list of My Favorite Things:

1. Puzzles (Melissa and Doug): I'm a huge "puzzle person" and all of my families know me as being the puzzle queen. Not only are learning puzzles fun, they can increase overall cognition, communication, and fine motor skills. Melissa and Doug puzzles are my favorite!! 

2. Dot paint- funny thing is, I haven't used this with my families, but Autumn loves them!! They're good for providing  input as well as being creative. Plus it's fun and easy cleanup. Most are washable as well. 

3. Chewy tubes- For our little seekers who enjoy biting down onto straws and who may bite in general...this one is a MUST have, but as always, it should be used under direct supervision. Autumn has her chews readily accessible and they've helped with providing sensory input as well. 
4. Parachute- Remember how much fun the large parachutes were in gym class?? Now imagine a smaller one that can be used at home. Most kids LOVE this one, but for some, it can be a bit overwhelming and may take time to warm up to. A favorite activity is having the child lay inside the parachute and with two adults, we lift them, rock and sing to them nursery rhymes leaving off the ends of the words. Helps with vestibular input as well. 
5. Bubbles- Kids LOVE bubbles!! They are so much fun and help work on isolating the index/pointing finger to get them to pop as well as the mouth muscles to help them blow. My favorite kind are the ones from Gymboree (pictured below). 
6. Books! Specifically board books for the littles- flip and see ones (Karen Katz), Eric Carle and Pete the Cat series are some of my favorites. Again, as a therapist I am known for my puzzles and my books because a.- it requires them to sit and listen, b.-children love to look at the pictures and there's so much interaction involved. c.- both expressive and receptive language can evolve from reading...my list goes on. 

7. Sensory balls- so much fun to explore these. They can also be used as figits depending on the size of the ball. 

8. Small trampoline with handles/trampoline- talk about getting the energy out and providing vestibular input! Always one of my favorites. Autumn loves hers!

9. Hot Wheels and Trains- Not only are they so much fun to play with, they help with establishing those first syllables and sounds! Add a track to this, even better. I use cars often as reinforcers with my kiddos. They love them! Autumn loves them too!


10. Weighted blanket/vest/body sock- This is one thing that I haven't invested in just yet with Autumn, but plan on doing so soon in order to help calm her as she's my little seeker who loves deep pressure. She already wears the weighted vest at school and she's used the body sock plenty of times during OT. For parents interested in these items, please make sure you work closely with your OT in making the right decision for your child. There's so many different weights and variations. OT direction/recommendations highly suggested before purchasing!

11. Play dough- Imaginary Play, sensory input, fine motor skills, cognition...you name it, play dough can provide. This one item can be hit or miss. Autumn never liked play dough when she was younger, but now enjoys it. Also, always monitor play dough usage because some kids like to eat it while exploring, plus it can be messy. 
 
12. Play tent- This is one of my personal favorites. It helps with a child's body awareness and can be a very calming, safe play for a child to play/go into. I love reading to Autumn in her play tents.
13. Legos- What kid doesn't like Legos?! They are the perfect toy to keep kids preoccupied for hours, using their imagination, fine motor skills and cognition building works of art. However, Autumn tends to be a bit possessive of her Legos, thus, they become a "no touch zone". Also, some Lego pieces can be choking hazards. Monitor usage while playing. 
14. Play food, specifically food to cut- This is another personal favorite of mine. I use the play food often during imaginative play in order to build social skills while pretending to "cook" and "share" the food we "make" together. The cutting foods help with fine/gross motor skills and of course with communication and cognition. My favorite is the Melissa and Doug set pictured below.

15. Animal figurines (little people sets for the younger ones).- One of Autumn's favorite things is taking out her animals and play pretending with them (or lining them up). I often use animals during my sessions in order to support speech by making those animal sounds and singing songs (Old McDonald come to mind?). 

16. Child easel- It only took us 10 months to finally build Autumn's but she LOVES it! She uses the chalk side more in order to practice writing her name as it's easier for her to do so while standing up. Hence, fine motor skills are at work, along with cognition and imagination. If using the side to paint/color, make sure an adult is around to supervise. I'm sure the last thing anyone wants is paint on the walls. 

17. Tea set/picnic set- Similar to the imaginative foods to cut, this is one of my other favorites! Turn-taking, sharing, manners, socialization, imagination, communication, self-help/adaptive play...the list goes on. If tea sets come with small parts, please monitor usage. We finally have allowed Autumn to use the spoons that were included in one of her sets because they were a choking hazard for children under 3.
18. Tunnel- Similar to the play tent, the tunnel can also be a safe haven for children to explore. I use it with some of my kids while setting up an obstacle course that works on following directions, joint attention and focus, as well as providing sensory input. 

19. Kinetic sand- Sensory play at its finest and it doesn't make a huge mess everywhere (easy to clean). 
20. Flash cards- large picture flash cards preferrably. I use flash cards with my kids to assess their receptive (pointing to the card) as well as expressive language. Autumn loves her cards. Not only did they assist with her association with objects/people/things/actions, her expressive/receptive language and volcabulary started to expand. Plus, she started to learn how to read words by using them as well. 

21. Play house toys (vacuum, broom, kitchen set, etc.)- One of the key elements in helping to build a child's social/emotional as well as self-help/adaptive skills, is for them to be given some responsibility and independence at a young age. Whether that's providing choices and having them do simple chores, kids LOVE to help and feel included. Play household items such as toy vacuums and brooms and kitchen sets are great for allowing a child to model the adult/parent during chores and teaches them so many wonderful things about helping others. These activities also expand on imaginary play. Pictured below are just a few examples of wide-array of play house toys.

22. Blocks/stacking cups/shape sorters- As a Developmental Therapist, one of my key areas that I work on with my littles is cognition. These simple toys are the stepping stones to cognitive development and what will be a requirement for kindergarten: knowing their colors, how to count to 10, big to small/small to big, shapes, in/out and up/down prepositions, hide and seek activities, hand coordination, focus, etc., the list goes on...Here are some of my favorites pictured below.



23. Mr. Potato Head- Yes, this one toy gets his own number! Using a simple Mr. potato head works on so many different areas of development with young children: body part identification, fine motor skills, proprioceptive input (pushing and pulling the parts in/out of Mr. Potato Head), imaginary play, etc. It's also one of my favorite tools to use when working on body part identification with my kiddos and with Autumn when she was younger. 

24. Signing time- If there's one educational tool that I firmly believe increases overall communication, it's this! I may be a bit bias here, but I know Autumn's speech improved dramatically because of watching Signing Time frequently. It's fun, interactive, educational, and "Miss Rachel" (that's what she's known as in our household) singing and signing makes it easy for anyone to learn how to use sign language. Plus, Autumn not only can say these words, she signs and signs appropriately. She will most likely stick to learning sign language as she grows older. For those reluctant to buy, see if your local library has any of the first season of Signing Time there. Disc 2-12 are my favorites, specifically 2,3,4,5,6. Also, check out on YouTube as well. 

25. Water table (outside play for the warmer months)- This is for the warmer months and for outside play. Playing with water is always fun. Kids will learn how to "fill up" and "empty" the water from the cups. Plus, this is a simple activity that may help some kids afraid of being splashed become desensitized to water. As always, Adult supervision required during play.

26. Bean bag chair/bean bags- This is something I'm personally looking to add to our list for Autumn this year. She is a sensory seeker who is always looking for input. I imagine that being able to jump an sit in a bean bag chair will help soothe her a bit as well as having bean bags to play obstacle games at home that will provide her with input. 
27. Push and pull apart toys- Another sensory area that works on providing proprioceptive input with joints/muscles that also involves joint attention. I don't have these yet, but they've always been a toy that I want to buy for my work families. Another one on my list this year. 


28. Pretend sew and string beads kit- Here's one of my favorite tools that work on fine motor skills and cognition. It's not as simple as it seems and may take lots of time and patience for the littles to learn how to do the activities, but once they do, they love this. I'll be honest, these activities were probably one of Autumn's least favorites to try when she was younger because she would become easily agitated and upset whenever she didn't get the string in right, but once she got the hang of it, she learned to love it!

29. Baby Dolls- Along the lines of "household pretend play", baby dolls also tap into a child's area of social/emotional development. Plus, for other children who may have younger siblings in the future, playing with baby dolls can teach them how to be "gentle", among other things, to help prepare for a sibling arrival. The list goes on.

30. Triangle-shaped washable crayons/jumbo crayons for the little ones- These are my two all-time favorite coloring tools that help with that pencil grasp! They are fabulous and can be found pretty much anywhere. Make sure they are washable!!


So that's my list of my favorite things as not only a therapist, but as a mommy to a special-needs child. 

However, I will add some honorably mentions that I didn't include in my list:
Sidewalk chalk
iPad/tablet
Bounce Balls 
(These are probably already owned in many households and their benefits are known for all children, which is why I didn't want to focus on these too much). 

I hope that my list gives some ideas and suggestions for many this holiday season. Happy Shopping!

Xoxo,

Trish 







Sunday, November 15, 2015

Noticing Differences

One of my most favorite traits in Autumn is her love for people and how she lights up whenever she sees other children, in particular. She will go right up to them, try and give them one of her "pressure hugs", grab their hand, and even though no words are spoken by her, she brings them over to where she wants to play. Or sometimes Autumn will jump up and down with such delight and vocally stim with excitement. 

All the above seems well and good within our world together, but as she grows older and as I integrate her in with society, I am noticing a shift within others. I'm noticing the kids who ignore her, the children who walk away, give her dirty looks and stares and I'm also noticing their parents doing this as well. These are the parents who won't even strike up a conversation with you after you've said "hello", but as soon as another person walks in the room, they're all over them like jelly on toast. I sense their anxiety, them being uncomfortable, their fears. I sense their assumptions, their judgments. I sense their lack of awareness and acceptance because it's easier to say nothing at all and look away than to become educated and supportive. 

Frankly, I don't give a shit about having small talk with strangers who I can already sense their feelings of disinterest, but what I do care about is the message that they're sending to their own children, especially when it pertains to acceptance of others differences. 

Right now, Autumn has no clue that the rejected behaviors displayed by other children can be hurtful. That's the beauty behind her autism- she keeps going and going. Nothing or no one is going to damper her spirits or make her feel less. No one, right now, at this moment, but as her mom, I'm fearful for her future and how humans can be towards one another. Will someday she realize this behavior and start to think to herself "what is wrong with me?" I'm praying that she doesn't, that the autistic side of her keeps her innocent, unknowing of the hurtfulness and pain that can be caused by others words, their assumptions, fears, and rejections. I want her to always stay my happy, strong-willed, confident girl who doesn't become broken by the unrealistic expectations of a glorified, very selfish society like many who are reading this have. 

For instance, yesterday in conversation, my mom stated that I was so much like Autumn when I was young. The little girl who always included everyone. The little girl who loved people, who cared and tried to make friends with all only to be pushed to the side and rejected by others because I rocked, I dressed different, was "weird" (that was the start). Mom said it's because my emotions were so easy to read in my face and people could possibly read them and know which buttons to push. So for the past decade, I've worked on portraying the "tough girl, I won't take crap from anyone" persona, a fighter, someone always having to justify and stand up for herself and the people around her even if that meant loosing friends in the process. And boy, has it been exhilarating and empowering. My confidence in life has never been better. I look at myself in the mirror daily and smile because I love me. It just stinks that it's taken me this long to be in this place in order to love myself again. 

Being a fighter for most of my life has been exhausting though. I'm at the point that I just don't want to do it anymore, but now I find myself not really fighting for myself as much, but fighting for my daughter. Whether that "fight" is with her teachers and therapists, our family members, coworkers, strangers, other kids parents, the battles continue. However, I'm learning to also pick and choose which battles to go into as some things are better left unsaid and some battles will never be won, no matter how hard I try. 

My husband often compares my personality to the main character from the movies, "Kill Bill 1 & 2". I suppose the heart in me is definitely like "the black mamba" as I would do anything to protect Autumn and that no one is going to get in my way. That will never change. She's one of the great loves of my life. 

Overall, I can only hope that as she grows up, she won't allow others to tear her down like I did. That she'll be stronger than I ever was. That she won't need reassurance or justification for the choices she makes in life and damn it, she won't give two shits if those kids don't want to play with her or join her in her own adventures. I want her to be the girl who continues to include everyone, to love others despite their differences, to accept all and to continue to show how much good is within the world and that people with autism CAN be anything they want in life and that they won't be defined by the DSM or a bunch of assumptions made by an uneducated and fearful society. She will be it all, believe me, she already is! Look at her, tell me she isn't special, tell me she isn't good enough, beautiful enough,  just try...good luck!



Xoxo,

Trish
(Aka Mama Butterfly, Grizzly Bear, Bald Eagle...Lionesss...yeah you get the point 😉)