Autumn's Paradise: Vacationing "Down the Shore"

"There's a place that she calls her own, which feels similar to home. Where the waves glisten in the sun as they crash down onto her tiny feet. Sand in her hair, everywhere, caked onto her skin, but she doesn't care. She loves the feeling of water and sand as she runs freely during low-tide. This is a place that she can finally be free. Where no one sees her autism, just a young girl enjoying the sea. This is a place that may be simple to you and me, but to Autumn, it's her kind of paradise and where she's meant to be."-Trish P., Autumn's Paradise

Summertime tends to be when many families take vacation. A years worth of planning jammed into one week of fun surrounded by the people they love. Some go to amusement parks, popular beaches, the mountains, all-inclusive resorts, cruises. Some travel by airplane, pack up the car and leave towards their destinations at 3am as the kids sleep soundly, or if they're like me, wide awake full of excitement. Then there are those of us who choose to stay close to home or plan day trips because it can be too expensive to go anywhere for a week during the summer months. Plus, sometimes the familiar is bliss. 

This year, I really wanted to go on a family vacation. I researched destination spots, calculated numbers, looked at weeks that the husband could use his vacation time, etc.,. In the end, we spent our time at my husband's grandfather's shorehouse. A place that I've grown to love and feel incredibly blessed and spoiled to have within my and my family's life. A house that has been in his family for well over sixty years. A house that survived the destruction of Superstorm Sandy barely damaged. A place filled with memories of happier times. It's where my husband spent every waking moment each summer as a child, where he proposed, and where our daughter felt the ocean water for the first time in her infant life. 

Going "down the shore" (how we Jersey folks say it) has become my daughter's favorite place in the entire world. Just like her father, she's addicted to the ocean waves. She's able to run and play and be a kid. Still, I have to keep a constant eye on her as she's a known bolter and she still doesn't understand the power of water, thus her safety is always a top priority while were there. I often spend time portraying goalie on the shoreline as she runs after the seagulls or wants to spend time in the water. No beach bums here, were in the water. No relaxing for this family, were walking along the shore looking for sea glass or in my case, keeping constant watch of Autumn. And they said going to the beach is "the easy life", not when your Autumn's mom and Autumn makes the energizer bunny look like a turtle as to how busy she is along the shoreline. My fitbit goes into overdrive the days were at the beach!

I'll be honest, going down the shore wouldn't have been my first destination of choice mainly because of the above. Add the outsiders asking intrusive questions, Autumn's random sensory triggers and it becomes exhausting to the point that I can't wait to leave and take a vacation from my vacation! 

However, the silver lining of it all and my entire point here is despite how I personally feel, despite the exhaustion, the questions, possible judgments, the drive (oh don't get me started, one word: GSP, Jersey people know my pain), seeing her little face light up and smile whenever her toes touch the sand and water is worth every moment of my personal discomforts. 

For instance, for a few brief moments, Autumn would grab my hand and the two of us would walk the shoreline together. No words. Just the two of us taking in the views and smells of the ocean breeze. I looked down at her as she looked up at me with a grin on her face that said, "I'm having a great time!" and then she let go of my hands and ran to the nearest water pool, jumping and splashing her little feet. Then there's the sitting in the sand building sandcastles together down by the water's edge (more like mountains, but who's judging). Autumn would take a break from digging to sit her wet, sandy self in my lap giving me her pressure squeezes. Despite my own sensory system going into overdrive, to be able to sit with my girl and enjoy that moment is something that I'll cherish forever. These are the memories that I'll take with me into old age. The ones that I'll look back on and smile and forget the hard moments, but just the good ones. 

Thus, vacations aren't easy. We forget about the kids being off-balanced, the meltdowns, tantrums, overpriced items, and the long lines, as we filter out the negative and only choose to remember the outcome and positives moments.

Maybe I didn't get that "dream family vacation" away to someplace exotic, what I got was even better: a daughter within her own version of paradise and that's pretty darn perfect. Plus, I had a great time and the best part of it all, Autumn did as well! 

Xoxo,

Trish