Anyways, yesterday is three months to the day that Autumn will have her last EI session. It really made me upset thinking about it because her therapists have become more like family to us. It feels like she just started EI and yet she's been receiving services for a year and what an amazing year of growth it's been. I keep trying to think of unique gifts to give her therapists when EI is over and I have a few nice ideas so hopefully they come through. A huge part of me doesn't want EI to stop but the therapist in me says it will be a good change for Autumn that will "stir things up" for her so that she learns to adapt to new teachers. I am sure I will keep in touch with them after EI. It is going to be surreal once her services are over though. I am going to cry because like I said before, her therapists have been my teachers as well and will always be a part of our lives. Their training and help has helped my family grow immensely. I sit here finishing my French toast hearing Autumn rattle off so many new words and it's all because of their exposure (signing time too). So I did the math, she has 84 sessions total (sounds like a lot) that she'll have with her three therapists before it all comes to an end. Then she'll begin private speech and OT while I keep her busy this summer with many play dates, spending a lot of time outside and hopefully well get down the shore this summer as well.
Off topic, but I'm seriously looking forward to the warmer weather and all of the time we'll spend outdoors this year. Belle absolutely LOVES being outside. Even yesterday we we were playing in the back yard for about 90 minutes and she was kicking and screaming when it was time to come inside. Even with being up since 5:45 and no nap, she ran and played and had a blast with Leah (the pup). The only thing I'm not looking forward to with the impending warm weather is hitting the pavement and trying to loose my "hibernation fat" before swimsuit season. Eating junk foods caused me to gain enough weight that my pants feel uncomfortable around the waist. I'm sure I will loose some weight with us being active outside and running around in the backyard plus making healthier choices. Thus, what I also love about spring/summer and the warmer weather is grilling again. When we owned our condo, they banned grills after the second year of living there and now that we have our grill back, it's back to grilling most nights (oh how I missed it) and for "lighter" meals. I wanted to grow a garden this year but I think it's going to have to wait. I just want some tomato plants bc I love tomatoes more than anything else. Plus the farmers market will be opening up around the corner again! Yay for warmth!
I want to try my best to cherish this summer and spend as much time with belle as I can. I know her preschool will only be three hours a day (I am not going to start her full days yet, maybe at four if she needs it), but it will be school every day. I was very apprehensive to start her this fall because of the fears for her safety and still believing she's too young for school five days a week, but again, the therapist personality of mine knows that going to school will only improve her abilities and at this rate with all of this extra help, she will be integrated (with possibly an aide) when she starts kindergarten or first grade.
From what I've learned, she'll be the only little girl in the special ed class but will be surrounded by other "moms" (teachers) who will adore her when I'm not in her presence. As a mom who also counsels children and adolescents, I also "nurture" my kid clients as well. It's like good moms everywhere, regardless of our differences, abide by the golden rule of being "guardians" towards our children. Whether we protect our own or another, we have their concerns in mind. For instance, I am sure that all of us, at one time or another, have helped a parent when their child was at risk for "danger". For instance, today a little boy was dangling from the jungle gym and would've really hurt himself if he fell and guess who was there to pull him up? This momma bird without a thought. I've seen children run into the street, with their parents right there, that I grabbed to save them from getting hit by a car, or kids running aimlessly away from their parents that I stopped so they wouldn't leave the store, or just being that mom who pushes the other kids on the swings and playing Legos with while their moms chit chat without worry with their other mom friends, and thanking me later. Either I have a friendly face or the kids feel my energy, regardless, I enjoy helping others (one of the many reasons why I became a counselor) and I don't mind as long as my daughter's needs are being met first (if she's with me/in my presence).
Which brings me to this: As difficult as it is for me to let go of my own daughter into the care of someone else, I'm trusting that she will be safe at school with other "moms" who will do whatever it takes to protect her (as I would do the same for their children). Moms reading this, we're all "guardians" in this life. We battle on the forefront for society's children no matter what the cost (even if that means risking our lives to protect them). Knowing the above makes my insecurities a little more secure and my ability to really start learning to trust the good in others who will care for my daughter as she grows, approachable.
(Deep breaths) All in due time, all in due time...I'm getting there...it's not going to be overnight but my bricks are starting to come down.
Xoxo,
Trish
P.S. She's obsessed with this tree...we've named it "Autumns tree" I am sure we will be spending a lot of time with her tree this spring and summer as long as the weather is nice outside.
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