Launch Day

Good Morning to all and welcome to Raising a Butterfly, Autumn's Journey. My name is Trish and it is my pleasure to share this journey from the passenger's view sort of speak with my family, friends as well as those interested in following us along. For those of you who didn't read the prelude/today post, this blog will focus on raising a child on the spectrum and all that goes with "arriving in Holland" from the parent's perspective. This will become my outlet, my voice, my therapy. I can only hope that through my words and experiences I will be able to help other parents alike and to let them know that throughout this roller coaster ride, they're not alone, in fact, you're not alone. Period.

Becoming a parent was something I always thought would happen as I grew up. I imagined having the "perfect" most beautiful child who would excel in everything thrown their way. I had imagined a future so bright for my baby that even the sun needed to wear shades. Now, here I am, a mother of my one and only Autumn Belle, who will be 32 months soon, who has developmental delays, Sensory Processing Disorder, diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, whose days consists of therapies and evaluations, who can't join regular play groups or classes because of her inability to sit and focus (she needs to move and of course all of the times for a gymnastics class are smack dab in the middle of one of her therapy sessions), and who, someday, more than likely will be diagnosed with ADHD. When I look back at pictures of my pregnancy progression three years later, never did I imagine the journey we'd be on together, or the many obstacles that I would face internally, externally, as well as professionally. All of these decisions and expectations that I had thought would be my life with my child has changed. No parent ever imagines their child with a disability of any sorts. Why would we do such a thing? Even despite the negative above, I still see the most beautiful child, perfect to me, who has just as much potential like the rest. From one of my idols, Ms. Temple Grandin (don't know her, look her up), "she may be different, but not less", and that my friends, has become my parenting model.

So here I am, back writing again. I wrote during my pregnancy with my little Autumn Belle as my muse then and now she continues to give me strength, tests my patience as well as inspires me to enjoy life in general. There are those days that I feel down, depressed, and sad. The cold and the snow hasn't helped my emotions, but when I look into her eyes and see her smile or hear her say a new word, she pulls me back into her light.

I decided to "officially launch" my blog today (aka, letting friends and family know on Facebook) because today is my maternal grandmother's birthday. It is also the first day of Lent, meaning Ash Wednesday. My grandmother introduced me to religion and raised me and my family to be Catholics. When I look back at those memories, my heart beams with joy. So I only thought that it would be only appropriate to start something that will bring joy into my life on such a special day. Lent may be about giving up/sacrificing, but it is also about doing some good with that choice. I was going to give up Gluten and I might try it, but that's more of a health choice. Thus, my goal is to write a blog piece each day for the next 40 days, even if that means getting up early or going to bed later than normal. Let's see what I can do.

The purpose of this blog and my sometimes endless rants isn't to make others happy, it isn't to "change the world" or to bring more awareness to the Autism community, there's plenty of that. It is to bring acceptance. Autism isn't a choice, just like one's sexual orientation, race, or ethnic background. It isn't something to be ashamed about either. Its taken me six-seven months to get the courage to finally start writing again, especially regarding my daughter and her diagnosis because of fears of hurting other family members who want to keep Autumn's "issue" private. That's the last thing I want to do is to hurt anyone I love, which is why I am going to say the following: For those family members who may disapprove of my blogging choice, please remain respectful. Yes, Autumn having her delays might affect you on some level, but you're not living this life 24/7. This isn't your life. It is ours: Matt, Trish, Autumn, and Leah. The only other people who truly have a say in this blog are Matt and Autumn. Matt approves 100%. Autumn may not approve someday, but for now, I am telling her story, sharing her progression, so that one day, she can read this and know how far she's truly come. I can only hope to break down these barriers and stigmas attached to having any sort of delay, diagnosis, or disorder, as it shouldn't be something that's brushed under the rug or taken less seriously. It's not something that she will just "grow out of", that's simple-minded, ignorant talk and please don't tell me that I am "overreacting". Unless you have a degree in counseling and studied the DSM-IV, then you have some grounds to even suggest alternative prognosis. Believe me, I can only hope that's the case (she will just grow out of it) and all of this extra therapy, services, and alternate life plans were just precautions, but for now, this is our life, my life, and I am not going to censor myself or fabricate the truth. Thus, read if you choose. You all know that I have Autumn's best interest at heart. That I will advocate for her and fight for her as she grows older. That's my ultimate goal, to be the best parent my daughter needs and requires (isn't it for all of us). I am not going to apologize for the above. Just being real and being myself.

So here's to the first official day of my blog/Facebook page. I promise that my posts will be more enjoyable as the days march on. Belle (that's what I call Autumn b/c it means "beauty") just finished eating her breakfast and I need to shower and get ready because she has therapy soon with one of my new favorite people in this "butterfly life" (I will get into the whole meaning behind the name of the post at a later date). Then I am going to try to attempt to bring her to an open play place up the road from me. As a SAHM (stay-at-home-matriarch haha okay mom), we're always trying to find things for our kids to do to keep them busy, socialized since socialization seems to be "so important" nowadays (especially with children on the spectrum), and to get out ourselves because staring at the four walls becomes redundant and the shinning-like. I am hoping that she will enjoy playing because like I said before, there isn't many classes/play groups offered during the times she doesn't have therapy.

I hope that everyone enjoys their days and I will see you all tomorrow. For now, stay strong, be positive, and feel blessed.

XOXO,

Trish

(Belle watching her favorite show: Signing Time, clapping to "The Rainbow Song", while I virtually toast my coffee mug to you all)